The Third Something

Share this post

#74 Fuck Fish

adamwestbrook.substack.com

#74 Fuck Fish

Adam
May 31, 2020
5
2
Share this post

#74 Fuck Fish

adamwestbrook.substack.com

Ten years ago I was working hard to establish myself as a thought leader on the future of journalism. I was consulting, speaking at conferences, writing a popular blog and selling courses.

Then one day, in the middle of 2013, I stopped.

Soon after, I dedicated myself to building a successful YouTube channel. The subscribers were growing slowly but surely; a few of my videos were getting noticed.

One day in 2016, I decided I was done with it. I haven’t looked at that channel since.

I also was obsessed with making a living from Patreon. I spent several years figuring it out, designing rewards and making trailers - I even visited Patreon’s HQ in San Francisco and hung out with Jack Conte.

Then, one day in 2018, I closed my Patreon down.

I was talking about these sudden abandonments with my friend Guy, and he said I reminded him of Chris Cooper’s character in Adaptation, the 2002 movie written by Charlie Kaufman.

In one scene the author Susan Orlean, played by Meryl Streep, is interviewing John Laroche, played by Cooper, about his many passions in life.

“I'll tell you a story. I once fell deeply, profoundly, in love with tropical fish. I had sixty goddamn fish tanks in my house. I'd skin-dive to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holacanthus ciliaris, Chaetodon capistratus. You name it. Then one day I say, fuck fish. I renounce fish. I vow to never set foot in the ocean again, that's how much fuck fish. That was seventeen years ago and I have never since stuck so much as a toe into that ocean. And I love the ocean!”

It’s almost always a mystery to those close to me why I suddenly give up on something right when things seem on the verge of taking off.

No doubt, it is an ill-advised way to go about your career. These days, the rewards are there for folks who pick a thing and do it again, over and over.

The more I do this, the more I find that the joy for me comes from not knowing how to make something, and figuring it out. Solving a problem, discovering a process, being the amateur - that’s the fun part.

And once I’ve figured it out…well, what else is there to do?

I don’t have any wisdom to add on top of this, except to say that my career may end with me sporting a mullet and driving a beat up van.

Fuck fish.

Until next Sunday,

2
Share this post

#74 Fuck Fish

adamwestbrook.substack.com
2 Comments
👉🏼👌🏼🐠
Jan 14, 2022

I hear you Adam. Once you got it mostly figured out, 👉🏼👌🏼🐠 on it for sure. It’s not fun anymore. Time for something else. The vast majority of people don’t get that. Which is fine, it’s not a lifestyle for everyone. But for those of us who get it, we get it.

Expand full comment
Reply
S JK
Nov 5, 2021

This sounds a bit like ADHD to me. Constantly needing new, novel stimulus to keep the dopamine flowing. Unable to keep going once the interesting new is mastered and the grinding incremental progress remains, because it's too boring, too repetitive, not enough dopamine.

It also reminds me of Danny Elfman, in a recent interview on his life.

https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/composer-danny-elfman-on-not-being-afraid-of-failure/

I miss your old YT/Vimeo videos. They are classics. Some of the most inspiring media I have ever seen in my life...

I hope you find your path forward.

Expand full comment
Reply
TopNewCommunity

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Adam Westbrook
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing